When u build ur day 2 day existence based on fear & frustration, wat u experience is nt life anymore. It’s futility. It’s lack of meaning. u do not experience anything outside the thrill of da“fight or flight” situation
At da end of da day, when u go 2 sleep, all u can think of is: Who is going 2 give me back the energy & attention that I lack so badly?”. & nothing more, except dat. Just a silent, endless emptiness